Public speaking has never been something I thought I was any good at or looked forward to ever in my life. In fact, it used to terrify me any time I had to get up in front of even one person and utter one sound. My heart pounds, I hear my voice shaking, and I feel like I am about to pass out. Apparently that is just it, all in my head.
As I began speaking out more about disabilities, and especially my own personal ones, I found I was really becoming good at public speaking. The nerves were still there but it made me feel like I was helping others in some small way. And then I was asked to testify in front of some legislators. The nerves really kicked in then. Why they made me feel more nervous I do not know. But I felt it was the right thing to do. Not every one can speak for themselves. I can speak up.
I took a lot of time in writing what I wanted to say to them. I had to keep it short and to the point which can be difficult, but I wanted them to really understand how it is to live with disabilities and what these places like DCIL do for us. The first time I spoke in front of them I could feel all of my anxieties creeping up and it took all of what I have learned to keep going. I was so proud of myself that I did it! I was even more proud that my son was there to see me do it.
So when I was asked to testify again this year I had no hesitation in saying yes. They were going to hear what I had to say. It is empowering when you can have them hear you and you actually feel like they are listening. It may or may not make a difference but at least you tried. It gives me a purpose and I feel like I am doing something positive with my disability.